A New Kind of Normal
Although we had a difficult delivery of our first born, we didn’t think much of it. We were so proud that we had a big baby boy! It wasn’t till Ian was about three years old that our world was turned upside down.
When Ian was about three years old, we tried to place him in a preschool. They took him for one day then told us that they could not accommodate his “disabilities”. Ummm, hello? Disabilities???
What were they talking about? They just didn’t know anything, that’s all there is to it. Then it all started to sink in and our world started falling apart.
We held Ian back for a year so that he could “catch up” to the other kids mentally. When Ian was 7, he was in first grade in a Christian School that had a “Special Needs Department”. The teacher kept telling me (and sending notes to the Dr telling him) that we needed to increase the medication because it just wasn’t working. Ian was still “disrupting the class”. So, the meds just kept getting increased and increased. I listened to the teacher and the doctor – after all, they were the professionals, right??? Finally, Ian overdosed where he freaked out. He lost complete control of himself and couldn’t stop screaming or moving. They sent him to the office where he hid under a table and swatted at anyone who got near to him.
I had taken off work early – just because. I got there and the principal told me that she was ready to call the Police on him. Ok, wait, STOP. This is a 7 year old kid who is overdosing on the drugs that you and your teacher INSISTED that he take??? And YOU want to call the cops???
I found Ian in a corner, under a table rocking back and forth, mumbling unintelligibly. I gathered him into my arms and carried him off …Ian never went back to a “formal” school
Our world came crashing down around us. Suddenly we had a different kind of “Normal”. All those hopes and dreams of a normal life with a kid who could go to a school, play on a team sport, be baby sat by a teenager … all those things that most people take for granted … all those dreams & expectations were lying at our feet in a crumpled mess.
The pain and heartache of the next few years is hard to put into words. We tried to put those pieces back together again. Unfortunately I wasn’t smart enough to get him completely off of the drugs that those fools had him on. That, I deeply regret. Because Ian has Aspergers Syndrome AND ADHD and ODD (along with other Learning Disabilities) the medication that he was on for 5 years was only making him worse. I so wanted him to be “normal”. I guess that’s why we hung on to the meds for so long – just trying to be “normal” like everyone else.
But “like everyone else” was not where God wants us. God is allowing us to learn and grow in ways that we never thought we would. We’re still learning and growing, but finally to a place where we can reach out to others. That’s what this web site is all about. A way we can reach out to others going through what we have been through and are still going through right now.
We aren’t Doctors or Psychologists, just fellow Special Moms and Dads who have been there and know that! We want you to know that you are not alone. There is a God out there with a Master Plan that includes you and your Special Child. That I know for sure. Another thing I know, my grandmother taught me when I was just a little girl. It’s summarized in a song – the song I still sing my daughter to sleep with: Jesus Loves Me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak, but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me, yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me – the Bible tells me so. Sometimes, it’s all I can do to hang on to that one truth – but never let go … never.